Let Go of the Old Trapeze
As soon as you declare your Vision, you
will begin to encounter “noise,” or things that come up
that may try to interfere with you achieving your
dream. Many of these are external, like friends that
don’t believe or family members that aren’t supportive.
These are difficult obstacles, and we’ll address those
in other articles and exercises. But the most difficult
ones are the ones that come up inside yourself.
Step 2 is about letting go of those old beliefs, fears,
and more – letting go of the “old trapeze.”
It is a matter of
fact for trapeze artists: you can’t hold on to two
trapezes at the same time. If you want to get to the
new trapeze, you have to let go of the old. Trapeze
artists also have a saying, “fat don’t fly.” They don’t
mean the physical weight you carry with you on your
body, but the emotional weight you carry inside your
head. So to begin your flight into your new life, we
have to clean house first.
One of the first
things to let go of is being right about how wrong it
all is. It may be true that you were laid off and
someone else should have been chosen, or your childhood
was genuinely difficult and unfair, or your significant
other is truly a jerk and treats you terribly. But if
you stay stuck in lamenting how right you are about how
bad it is, you never move away from it. That’s
certainly not to say that you don’t have the right and
the responsibility to deal with the emotional impact any
of these things may have caused. But you can’t hold
onto it as a reason to not move forward.
If nothing changes,
nothing changes.
Another big thing to
let go of is your “type.” From our childhood, we have
taken on definitions of who we are that are often not
true. We say we are the “shy” type, or the “clumsy”
type, or the “athletic” type. In business, we may
define ourselves by what types we are not, like, “I’m
not the sales type,” or “I’m not the operational type.”
In fact, there are probably long lists of the “types’ we
think we are, and they may or may not have any real
connection to our true selves.
Closely related to
types, are the “enoughs.” They show up as, “I’m not
smart enough,” or “I’m not young enough.” The list can
be enormous: tough enough, tall enough, creative
enough, passionate enough, and on and on.
So starting now, you are no longer any
“type,” you are “enough” of whatever you want to be, and
your past is only the foundation for a new future.
Exercise
Get out your garbage
bags, because it’s time to clean house.
1.) We’ll start
with a real house cleaning. Go through your home and
throw out 50 things. Even if you have already done a
cleaning or recently moved, you have more to get rid
of. Start with “the drawer” (we all have at least one)
where all kinds of odds and ends reside, like odd nails
and keys that haven’t opened anything in 10 years. Get
rid of all that. And throw out the old socks that don’t
match and the spare parts for the air cleaner you can’t
even locate. Or go for the big stuff and get rid of the
old moldy chair or the record collection you can’t play
anymore. One woman in a workshop only threw out one
thing: her old boyfriend who refused after 7 years to
commit to the relationship (she didn’t have to throw out
49 more things…). But fill the bag and get rid of the
old junk.
2.) Then go back to
your quiet time and start to think about the types, the
“enough’s,” the fears, and the attitudes that you don’t
want to take with you into your new life. Make a list
in your notebook, and add to it over a few days as you
think about your Vision and watch yourself in your daily
life. Try to catch the times you say things that limit
you, like one of the “enough’s,” or the attitudes you
have that might not let you get to your dream. Write
them down… just exposing them to light often lets them
go.
And when you have
your list as complete as you think it will be, look it
over – for the last time. As corny as it sounds, say to
yourself that you are letting all that go, and draw a
big “X” across the page. Then don’t come back to that
page unless you want to add something else to throw
away.
Take the list of
your garbage and go to the
Garbage Dump in the Forum and tell everyone what you
are getting rid of. Write it up, post it, and
check out what else is in the dumpster this week.
3.) Since it is
often said that you bring into your life the things you
focus on, you are not going to focus on the things you
put on your dumpster list. But instead turn to a new
page and start to make a list of the things that you
are: the good things that define you and lead you to
your Vision. Add to it whenever you can, and look it
over as a reminder of who you really are and what you
have inside you to bring into your new life. Be bold and
write down the things you believe about yourself, even
if they are new and scary. It’s your life and your
Vision… make it as big as you can!
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